Failure

That little tug behind the belly sets off the fragile heart. Fluttering, legs like jelly and an audience waiting to be pleased gathers around me.

I have known failure before,

But none quite like this, where the anticipation runs ice cold and my humour, tired, falls on deaf ears.

I have known failure before,

But none quite like this, where cold sandwich is the only thing I return home too. A little bit of telly, enough to distract, never quite enough to forget.

I’ve known failure before,

But never quite the way I’m drained out, flowing through the city in a mindless rush, numb and dirty, inadequate in my heart and empty in mind.

Indeed, I have known failure before,

But none quite like this where you aren’t present—never you mind.

[You see, I was convinced, convinced that we were invincible. And never in my life have I ever been more wrong.]

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