disenchanted, lost, hoping,
my tragic age
It’s just that: you suddenly find yourself wandering into the lives of others, not knowing what to expect, then one day you’re suddenly wandering out. Growing up teaches you to know when your time has come to leave.
I think growing up means understanding when your turn is over and graciously leaving the space for others without throwing a tantrum of self-entitlement.
Growing up made me understand not to look for “meaning” in the world.
The world has no meaning on its own, don’t blame the world for your miseries. Meaning is what you make of it, what you bring to the table, what you contribute in another person’s life. Meaning is planting a tree so a few people can breathe easy, meaning is screwing a tap tight so that water doesn’t leak, meaning is leaving your smartphone behind and sitting on the grass to laugh with friends who care.
And meaning is also letting go of those friends when its time.
Growing up is realising that new places become old and old places can be experienced anew.
Growing up doesn’t have to be hard, it doesn’t have to punishing, you’ve to simply learn to let go and absorb again. Growing up is flexibility.
Let fucking go.
“A self-destructive person feels completely alienated, utterly alone. They’re an outsider to they human community. They think to themselves, “I must be insane.” What they fail to realize is that society has, just as they do, a vested interest in considerable losses and catastrophes. These wars, famines, floods and quakes meet well-defined needs. Human beings want chaos. In fact, they’ve got to have it.
Depression, strife, riots, murder, all this dread. We’re irresistibly drawn to that almost orgiastic state created out of death and destruction. It’s in all of us. We revel in it.
Sure, the media tries to put a sad face on these things, painting them up as great human tragedies. But we all know the function of the media has never been to eliminate the evils of the world, no. Their job is to persuade us to accept those evils and get used to living with them. The powers that be want us to be passive observers. Hey, you got a match?
And they haven’t given us any other options outside the occasional, purely symbolic, participatory act of voting. You want the puppet on the right or the puppet on the left? I feel that the time has come to project my own inadequacies and dissatisfactions into the socio-political and scientific schemes, let my own lack of a voice be heard.”
(Pours gasoline all over herself and lights herself on fire)
– On alienation. Waking Life (modified)