2.46 AM

my mind is coaxed awake from a particularly long train of thought, not yet asleep not fully awake, it seems as if sweet dreams were being brought on

because I woke up in a million years—my soul floating up to the stars—my lips forming contentment in all its lazy, luxuriant glory,

my hair soft—even after ages in the sun—healing in the shade of night—my eyes heavy with the weight of your dreams and my senses are filled to the brim

my eyes are closing—i’m floating back down into sleep’s folding embrace and my mind is full of your soft peach lips and your sun warmed skin and your raven hair thick and curling between my fingers,

and I’m back again in your deep blue room and wind blown white curtains, your tumbling pile of books your unmade bed where your lips touched mine for the first time, your stack of records and films strewn around without a care because—because I’m full of you, you with your well-worn shorts and laughter bouncing off the walls, the evening sunlight turning you golden and Edward Sharpe singing Home.

And I am, I am. I am truly, truly, home.

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What If

What of the grand gestures of love?
If all I’d ever wanted was you
to read me like a book,
cover to cover like an old favourite.
Word to word.
The velvet binding now tattered.

Whisper me in the
quiet of the long nights.
Pronounce me, proud,
during day’s light.

What of you promising me forever?
If we are to die once born,
over and over.

What If all I’d wanted was to lie down on
the lush green earth,
or an yellow desert,
a rugged brown slope,
a singing sea cove?

What of turning me into a song?
If all I’d ever want is you
to sing the unsung.

What of your words?
If all I’d wanted was you
to lie down in silence with me,
Because,
The world is too full to talk about,
And only in silence, soul’s transpire.

I know,
Love is letting go,
Freedom not confinement.

But you’ll never know,
you’ve
never loved a book,
never lived,
never sung,
never seen the dewdrop
on a leaf.
You exist in ignorance.
In lonesome darkness,
empty confinement.
In mindlessness.

And all I would ever need are mere
‘What Ifs’

Slice Of Teen Life Romance

Vulnerability is the essence of romance. It’s the art of being uncalculated, the willingness to look foolish, the courage to say, ‘This is me, and I’m interested in you enough to show you my flaws with the hope that you may embrace me for all that I am but, more important, all that I am not.

Romance, is something we ALL muse over or have been enamoured by at some point of our lives or another, romance and love and by love I obviously mean romantic love. Now 17, this is something I’ve given a lot of thought, most of the time subconsciously, the definition of romance has been changing on a regular basis for me – still does.
When I was thirteen, the the entire concept of romance eluded me, I found answers in books, in movies, chick lit and sometimes was brave enough to experiment.
However, four years have passed since my first kiss and I’m no longer captivated by the concept of ‘romance’ that prevails now. When I put forward my views, I come across as old fashioned, or orthodox, but the truth is far from it.
I’ve always been open about every aspect, every attitude and have tried my best not to be judgmental, but you see, when it comes to expecting the same bit from others, the fail.

This is a rant over the current state of teenage affairs, It’s a piece of my mind, a small slice of teen life.
I’ve traveled four years from my very first kiss (not to mention it was pretty clumsy and one of my knees did NOT bend up in the air) and I’ve realised a couple of things and these observations are not novel, merely reinforcements of what’s been said over and over and over again.

I’ve discovered that love is temperamental and matures over time and goes through various phases. the passion is there to stay for only this long and then what is required is a healthy companionship.
after the initial bout of fierce passion it cools down to adjustments, understanding and companionship, and if a couple cannot rekindle the romance at this point of time, the relationship usually breaks. A major reason why there are so many cases of divorce and break ups these days.

I see I’ve been ranting, well, the thing is I’ve been trying to understand what I want to seek in my significant other, Sensibility, Intelligence and most importantly acceptance. People have a weird tendency to try and change a person when they are together, that’s sad because they forget that the precise reason why they had chosen their partner in the first place was the reason they are like they are, with the imperfections.

phew, too much ranting. finally coming to the point (ducks behind the chair) I think I’m on very much on the right track in finding someone like that. yeah that’s it.